Goddamnit…. now I’m going through Kate’s tumblr and there’s all these posts she made when she was staying up and not sleeping…
Well great…. I was going to make a post about how this night has turned into a bizarre and somewhat shitty time from my point of view….. And then Kate looked at me changing tumblr accounts on my phone and was like “oh are you complaining about me are you?” And now I feel even weirder…. So yeah…. Woohoo :/
I don’t really know what’s going on Kate’s been like all worked up over the past week about this character and how she used to be obsessed with him and she’s being all nostalgic and such which is fine and quite intriguing for me. So today I got my full license so tonight instead of working on glee stuff which I probably should have done, I went to What We Do In The Shadows with Kate and that was cool the movie was really good and we were jamming to Jersey Boys in the car which was awesome :) but when we got home we didn’t have proper dinner, and then Kate was sleepy so we lay around for a bit, and then we watched all these episodes of the Simpsons, and then we went to get a snack, and then I said time for bed I guess? Because it was four. And then I was lying there while Kate was on tumblr, thinking she’d browse for a while and then we’d go to sleep…… But then at like 5:30 I awoke and realised I’d dozed off… Which pissed me off a little because I hate this dozing off while Kate’s still awake business. And now…. It’s like 7:30….. I’ve just been lying there for hours now….. And Kate’s still browsing….. With no sign of stopping….. And I just feel bored and angry and stupid because I have nothing to do and I want to go to sleep because it’s 7:30 in the morning…. But I find it super weird to just go to sleep when she’s still here and awake…. And I don’t know what’s going on……
It’s so annoying having a really intense and really obscure phobia….. there’s so many triggers everywhere and nobody puts trigger warnings because they don’t know it’s a thing…..
and I have two of those…..
it really sucks
Listening to Florence + The Machine
Man sometimes I don’t mind having boobs, and other times I am really mad about having boobs, and other times I’m really really upset that I have boobs. I’m never like wow I’m so happy that I have boobs.
It’s frustrating because I’m really not gender fluid at all, I’m pretty stoked about being a girl, I just wish I could be a completely flat chested girl….. It’s sad because I wish I could have a bra that looked really pretty like the few normal bras I have, but would squish down my boobs as much as possible like the sports bras I have, and would somehow do this without being painful (unlike sports bras)
I want to get a new job and I want to just go out and give out cvs to lots of places or sit down and just apply for like 10 jobs on seek but it just seems like a lot of effort to go to to get completely ignored by and never hear from a lot of potential employers