It makes me really upset when she’s upset and she won’t talk to me and I don’t know what’s going on

This week I have three tests. I have to finish an arrangement for Glee and I have to choreograph a whole dance. This week I am still really upset about Robin Williams and I’m feeling floopy in general about how much shit there is going on but you know what? I can do this and I can do it as well as I can manage and that’s good enough. I can deal with this week and when next week arrives I can deal with that too and then it’ll be the mid-semester break so these two weeks are all I need to be concerned about right now. I can do this.

You know what? Sometimes I feel really jealous. Sometimes I feel really jealous completely involuntarily and completely against all reason, and you know what else? I can’t help it. There is absolutely nothing I can do about it because it’s not a logical conscious decision to feel that way. So all I can do is say “okay shut up” to the little jealous voice and wait for it to be quiet, because you know what else? I am fricking insecure person with delicate mental stability and if I have involuntary mental reactions to things that I can’t help then I shouldn’t beat myself up about them, I should do what I can to deal with them and just wait for them to go away.

That’s something that I have just decided :P

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